A Few Words...

I am back to work tomorrow after 5 weeks off form surgery.  I am anxious, but I am excited to go back to work.  Even though the pay would not keep me in the profession forever. I love teaching.  I don't care what people say about teenagers 98% good.

 Let us take a look at the  physical activity that I planned to do last week:

M- Muscle Challenge Class and Zumba DONE!
T- Tight and Toned or Chisel Circuit Class,  Did tight and toned (A lady brought her newborn baby to class, she was working out and he was chillin', didn't make a sound the whole time) 4K run, YES! Zumba Nope, running ran late
W- Core Class?Nope 4K run YES!
T-Zumba, ChiselChallenge in the am, YUP! Muscle Challenge in the pm Nope
F- Zumba Tone Nope
S-Tight n Toned, Zumba and Muscle Challenge, YES I did the three classes!
S- 8K Run Was out late didn't make it :(

I heard another lady say she doesn't want to life heavy because she doesn't want her arms to get big.  NEWSFLASH: Women we DO NOT have enough testosterone in our bodies to achieve the same muscle mass as men.  Even if you lift 15 pounds for biceps you will NOT get man arms, what you will get is sexy shaped guns, that you can show off all summer. 

Not bad, 5 days of activity.  I don't know why but the scale keeps moving up, I am not sure if it is because of the increased activity, but it makes me sad.  I have not really been eating more, but I am so frustrated.
I went to a party yesterday and ran into a girl, I went to school with a few years ago.  I haven't seen her in a few years and she looks great.  She asked if I have a blog.  I had to chuckle to myself.  I sometimes forget that ANYONE could be reading this.  Not necessarily a bad thing, I guess I just forget.

The good news is even if the scale is moving in the wrong direction. People at the party said I looked really good.  That is always nice to hear. 

Nevertheless, a wave of discouragement seems to have me in its grasp.  Why can't my body see that I am working so hard and react?  Why can't it loss more than a pound a week?  Where are the muscles hiding? I know you are there, you hurt when I work you hard. Come out come out wherever you are...I don't want to give up, but sometimes I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.  Maybe I am not meant to be less than 203 pounds, maybe it is not possible. 
I will not let the damn scale get me down, at least that is what I try and tell myself.  I am still here, looking to get into the best shape of my life.  But weeks are turning into years and as the years go by, the effort increases, but the weight does not.  Even if I feel like crap, I still try and do the best that I can.  I may not have lost all the weight in a year or two or even three, but I am still trying and that is all that I can do.  I vowed that I would never go back to the hospital, the sounds, the smells, I want nothing to do with it.  I just want to make each day worth it.  I do not want to have ask myself, what if I didn't eat that __________? What if I went to the gym that extra day. Some of you are going to say, "put away the scale".  No can do, it is like my GPS, it guides me in the direction that I need to go.  I see it as a compass, a mute trainer.  It tells me if I have to work harder. Sad., but true.

I keep forgetting that I am racing on Saturday, this will be the first race since the surgery, am I ready, no. All I can do is run my little heart out.  I hope that my time in still in the low thirties and that I am not any slower.

This week's plan:
M-Muscle Up, Zumba
T-3K, Zumba
W-Run with co-worker/Hill Training
T-Legs and Arms/Muscle Challenge
F-REST
S-5K RACE!
S-8K

Hope that everyone had a nice weekend.
P.S.I can't get that Rhianna/Drake song "What's My Name?"  out of my head!  OH NANA, WHAT'S MY NAME? Oh na na, what's my name?